The NYCEFT Video Podcast

Ep 6 - How to Begin Sessions: Stage I vs Stage II, Different Cycles (Attack/Attack, Withdraw/Withdraw)

(Ep 3 of a 3 episode series)

Do you ever get stuck on how to begin your sessions? Do you find that just saying “How are you?” leads to a lack focus and wastes precious time? Do you struggle to find the words to describe the work ahead? If so, this series of three episodes of The NYCEFT Podcast is for you! Listen in as Wendy Tomkiel, experienced EFT therapist and supervisor, and founding member of NYCEFT shares her expertise and wisdom on how to open the first session, the individual sessions, the fourth assessment session, ongoing Stage 1 sessions vs Stage II sessions, and how to begin sessions with couples with different cycles, e.g. attack/attack, withdraw/withdraw. Each episode with Jeff and Wendy is packed with specific tips and languaging that you can use right away with your couples.

In this episode (Ep 3 of the three part series) Wendy and Jeff discuss strategies for Stage I and Stage II sessions. Wendy begins by explaining the differences between the two stages. She then discusses how to open a session by asking for a specific example of how the couple got pulled into their cycle, and the importance of asking if there were any improvements in dealing with it. She emphasizes the importance of keeping the session emotionally focused, and describes different responses based on how the couple is showing up. Jeff and Wendy talk about different approaches therapists can use with attack/attack and withdraw/withdraw cycles, and how to maintain safety by setting ground rules and reminding partners about their goals. They also explain how the nervous system may respond, and they reflect on how the art of therapy facilitates the couple’s working alliance with the therapist.

For more information about Wendy Tomkiel, visit:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/wendy-tomkiel-new-york-ny/58817